February 24, 2007
April 15, 2008

               It’s what I don’t do...

I almost never sit and do nothing any more, never just sit and think--or, like now,
lie down and think. I’m always doing something or wanting to do something, about to do something. While I’m waiting to do something else--something important--I’ll do this. I’ll do this while reading the news or cooking or watching a movie or driving or surfing or just waiting for something to happen, someone to come, something to finish, for dusk or sleep or morning or guests to arrive. I’ll do this so later I can go on to something else, the next thing, the thing that spares me from doing nothing but think. Even when I’m listening to music, my mind is breezing away over some other landscape. I’m blocking...holding back...wary of wasting time. It’s what I do. Unconsciously. Even now I have one hand on a book the other padding the bed for my glasses, ready to quit thinking, or, rather, as dusk arrives, start thinking about turning on the light over my bed